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‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!’The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.’Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be. They’re gonna cut our salary, and put us on a zero-hour contract.”Dorothy shook her head. As the local leader of USDAW, the shop workers union, she knew she had, and would always have, very little true influence. USDAW was a relatively weak union, its usually unskilled members easy to hire and fire. In a way it was this very weakness that had drawn her towards the union, hoping to make a small impact.“But you’re already on the legal minimum wage aren’t you?” The legal minimum wage in the UK had been unchanged for almost six years, despite many and varied promises to update and uprate it.Her visitor nodded. “Yeah.”“Do you know by how much they plan to cut it?”“One pound twenty five an hour, about twelve percent.”“Down to eight pounds something an hour?”“Uh huh. Just over nine.”“Flamin’ hell. Is it just this one store, or all of them?”“Within Tesco’s it’s all of them. Couldn’t tell you about other stores though.”“All right, leave it with me.”Her visitor, the union representative for.
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